I spend most of my days helping people reconnect with one another. Sometimes the road is emotional. Sometimes it’s sexual. But frequently, the reconnection begins with the space around them.

The bedroom is often the most overlooked room in the home when it comes to intention. We pour our energy into the kitchen for guests, the living room for entertaining, the terrace for views. But the bedroom? That’s where laundry piles up, mismatched lamps end up, and phone chargers drape over dusty nightstands.

What if the bedroom weren’t just a place to sleep? What if it became your sanctuary, the one place in the house that’s just for the two of you?

“The first step is to reclaim the room as a sacred space.”

Design has power. It can soothe, arouse, restore, and invite. And in a busy, overstimulated expat life, filled with travel, cultural shifts, and hosting visitors, your relationship deserves a space that slows you down and draws you back together.

The first step is to reclaim the room as a sacred space. The bedroom is not a workspace, not a storage unit, not a communal hangout. That means no laptops on the bed, no television flickering in the background, and yes, removing the treadmill if it’s been doubling as a coat rack. This room is your retreat. It should feel like a clear boundary from the rest of your life.

Rather than designing for function alone, design for feeling. Ask yourselves: how do we want to feel in this room? Warm? Soft? Sexy? Safe? Let that question guide your choices. Think plush textures, dim lighting, natural scents, colors, and cozy layers. This isn’t about perfection, it’s about emotional resonance.

It helps to include visual cues that gently remind you what this space is about. A sensual candle on the nightstand, a framed photo from a happy moment, a small tray with massage oil, nothing showy, just quiet symbols that say, “this is our space.”

You can also create a simple ritual that signals it’s time to shift gears. Maybe it’s lighting a candle after dinner, turning on a playlist you both love, or spritzing a pillow spray with a scent you only use in the evenings. These small cues help the nervous system unwind and reorient toward calm and closeness.

Ultimately, intimacy isn’t about spontaneity, it’s about cultivation. When you create a physical environment that honors your relationship, you send a powerful message: this connection matters.

So as you design your dream home, even if it’s just a temporary home, don’t forget the room that holds your dreams. Let your bedroom be more than just a place to sleep. Let it become the space where you find your way back to each other, night after night.