“Maybe the secret is to stop treating ourselves like a constant renovation project.”

Somewhere along the way, “feeling good” became a full-time job. These days, it’s not enough to simply exist. No, no. You must thrive. You must glow. You must heal your inner child, drink chlorophyll water, manifest your dream life, and somehow also have a tight arse and a calm nervous system. That’s the stress so many women find themselves under. Because apparently, happiness is only available to women who exfoliate.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I find that exhausting.

Because the wellness world doesn’t just sell you vitamins and yoga pants. It sells you the idea that you are permanently unfinished. That if you’re tired, it’s because you’re not meditating hard enough. If you’re unhappy, it’s because you’re not grateful enough. If you don’t love your body, it’s because you haven’t done enough mirror affirmations while rubbing your thighs like you’re trying to summon a spirit.

It’s “self-care”… but somehow it can also feel like self-policing. And the truth is, women are tired. Not just physically. Soul tired. Tired of being told to improve, shrink, soften, glow, cleanse, detox, fix, align, optimise, and “step into our power” while also making everyone else comfortable.

So here’s a radical thought: what if feeling good isn’t something you earn? What if the real glow-up is doing less? Not giving so many f*cks? And actually doing what the heck you want, when you want?

Because honestly, the most healing thing I’ve done lately is… nothing. Literally prancing around my living room in underwear, dancing and eating chocolate, and letting my nervous system rot in peace. And you know what? It worked.

I also highly recommend self-pleasure, obviously. Wink wink. Not as a guilty little secret, but as actual self-care. It’s free. It’s cardio. It relieves stress. It boosts mood. It’s basically Pilates for the soul. Plus, it’s hard to spiral about your life choices when you’re mid-orgasm. Anti-wrinkle? Maybe. Anti-breakdown? Absolutely.

And journaling? Lovely. But have you tried being slightly unhinged instead?

Sometimes the most therapeutic thing is allowing yourself to say the things that make people spit their tea out. Can’t even tell you how fun it is to watch.

Because real feeling good isn’t about perfection. It’s not about comparing yourself to a 22-year-old wellness influencer drinking bone broth in Bali. It’s about accepting that some days you’re a goddess and some days you’re a gremlin in leggings eating cereal for dinner.

Both are valid.

So maybe the secret is to stop treating ourselves like a constant renovation project. Maybe we stop chasing an ideal version of “wellness” that’s just another way to feel inadequate. Maybe we give ourselves a break and laugh a little.

You don’t need a glow-up. We need less bullshit.

And permission to be okay, just the way we are… right now.